The Snowbat
by pupeez4eva
Summary: "Okay, no way are we playing around with knives when Demon Brat is around," Tim interjected firmly. He glanced at Jason, and his eyes narrowed. "Or you, for that matter." - The bat-siblings spend some quality time in the snow.


Dick cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "Hmm," he murmured, "maybe if we find smaller twigs…"

"It's no use," Tim sighed. "It'll still look like a deer — just one whose antlers have been chopped off."

"Maybe if we take Replacement's suggestion, but put two twigs together so they form a triangle," Jason suggested grudgingly. It was obvious that agreeing with any of his brothers was something he highly disliked.

"It'll look like a cat," Cass replied, shaking her head.

"Yeah, Cass is right," Dick agreed, his brow furrowed as he studied the object in front of him. "We're trying to make a snow Batman, not a snow Catwoman."

"Catwoman doesn't wear a cape," Jason retorted. "Nah, if we made cat ears, this would be the freaky love child of Bruce and Catwoman. And we don't need any more bat babies running around here."

Tim frowned, glancing around. "Where did Damian run off to anyway?" he asked. "He said he had some amazing plan, and then bolted."

No one replied, all too focused on the task at hand. Cass studied the mound of snow carefully, as if this was one of the most important tasks she'd ever carried out.

"Maybe we can try using rocks…" she murmured.

"I'm telling you, it'll just look like a cat," Jason insisted. "Seriously, can we make the Bat-Cat-lovechild?" He smirked. "I haven't gotten the old man a Christmas gift yet, so this'll do the job."

Tim turned to stare at him. "Okay, _why_ are you here again?" he demanded.

"Not because I want to be," Jason shot back. "Alfred bribed me with cookies, and Bruce is out — that's the _only_ reason I'm here."

"Guys, don't argue!" Dick interjected. "And Timmy, Jay has as much of a right to be here as any of us."

"Christmas is a time for family," Cass said. Though the words were directed at her brothers, her eyes remained fixated on the half-finished snowbat.

Dick beamed. "Exactly."

"Oh come on Cass," Jason groaned, "you're supposed to be the one sibling I can tolerate. Don't make me gag."

Tim rolled his eyes at his older brother, and turned away to face the group as a whole. "Can we get back to the issue at hand?" he asked, gesturing at their creation. "Snowbat!"

"Well, we managed with the cape," Dick said, nodding towards said item. "…Hopefully Alfred won't miss this rug too much."

"Yeah, and hopefully it's not another family heirloom," Tim added, frowning slightly. "Those tend to get tossed around a lot…"

Jason snorted. "Well it's not our fault Bruce has so much old shit," he grumbled. "Now, back to the goddamn Snowbat. I say we use knives."

Dick stared. "…Knives?"

"Yeah!" Jason said enthusiastically. "Shove the hilt in, and have the tips of the blades sticking out! They'll look just like ears."

Dick shook his head. "Jay, we can't use knives…" He paused, and cocked his head to the side thoughtfully. "Actually, that might just work…"

"Okay, no _way_ are we playing around with knives when Demon Brat is around," Tim interjected firmly. He glanced at Jason, and his eyes narrowed. "Or you, for that matter."

Jason glared back. "I may not be in costume, but I _do_ keep a gun on me at all times."

"Hey!" Dick protested. "No fighting during Christmas time!" He reached out, wrapping one arm around Jason, and the other around Tim, and brought them together in a odd, three-way hug.

"Come on guys!" Dick exclaimed, ignoring his brothers' struggles and protests. "We need to ban together to figure out how to make the perfect — "

"All of you imbeciles, move aside!"

"Oh god, why?" Tim moaned, as Damian hurried past them. There was a dark object clutched in his hands.

"Little D!" Dick exclaimed, beaming widely. While he was distracted, Jason managed to squirm out of his grip, and gave Dick a swift elbow to the gut. The elder man barely reacted, much to his irritation.

"Out of my way" Damian snapped. "I've solved the problem. Why you fools never thought of this in the first place is beyond me, but I suppose you _are_ all rather dense."

"No insults during Christmas time," Cass told him firmly.

"…Here." Damian averted his gaze (his sister was one of the few people he truly respected and listened to, after all). He reached out, standing on the tips of his toes, and dumped the object he was holding on the top of Snowbat's head.

Tim stared. "…Is that Bruce's cowl?"

"Dami!" Dick cried, glancing around in panic. "You can't just put that there! If someone sees — "

"Oh fuck that, no one's around," Jason cut him off, grinning widely. "Oh god, that's brilliant," he crowed.

"There," Damian said, staring at their creation with a proud smile on his face. Cass glanced at him, a warm expression in her eyes, and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Now we have our Snowbat."

"Well, it works," Dick admitted, studying it. "Kind of looks like him in a…weird, snowman-like way."

"Can I use it for target practice?" Jason asked.

Damian shot him a glare. "Stay away from Snowbat," he snarled. "We spent far too much time on him for you to simply destroy him."

"That's right," Dick agreed, a wide grin stretched across his face., "no one's destroying Snowbat. Now — anyone have a camera? Timmy?"

Tim lifted his camera. "Right here," he said, smiling.

…

" _Who the HELL put melted snow in my cowl?!_ _"_

Bruce stared furiously in front of him. His children stared back, having the gall to look innocent. He _knew_ it had to be one of them — after all, who else would do something like this?

"It was all Todd's fault, Father," Damian told him, nodding in Jason's direction (the fact that Jason was even here should have tipped Bruce off that something was wrong). "He wanted to use Snowbat for target practice — this was the only compromise he would accept!"

Bruce blinked. "What the hell is a snowbat?"

Dick grinned. "Don't worry Bruce," he said cheerily. "We have plenty of pictures."

…

 **AN:**

 **So I initially wanted to post this before Christmas, but that didn** **'** **t exactly happen** **…** **so even though the holidays are over, hopefully you still enjoy this :D**


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